This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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