I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
