Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
