My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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