worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
