Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
