how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
