i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This can only be settled by a dance off.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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