told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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