:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
