His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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