Do vagina's smell?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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