But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
