At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
did i just pee glitter
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
