Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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