Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
