fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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