Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
