We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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