So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
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