Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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