Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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