Ambien. No doubt about it.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
