I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
