I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
