A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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