Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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