im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
