So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
