My room smells like vodka and shame
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
