the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize