shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We talked him into tasing himself.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
