apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
