My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
