i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
is wine microwaveable?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
