A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
