it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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