Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
