erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
