Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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