seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
