Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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