Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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