You can't motorboat a personality
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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