her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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