Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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