So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
