Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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