Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
