yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize