It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm too high and old for this...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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