Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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