similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
