oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
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