so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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