Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
