Swine flu. Run for my life!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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