we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
