why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
