party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
