i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
