I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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