That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
