hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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