so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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