just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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