I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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