my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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