it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
