please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
