Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
