yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
